We might be in the wrong country

The word ‘dhanda’ sounds very crude, doesn’t it? Literally translated in English, though, it means the very likable word ‘business’. In fact, dhanda is a word that’s been used over a few thousand years in India, all through its rich history of enterprises.

India was always a hotbed of enterprise. Thanks to the Silk Route, we had entrepreneurs making, selling and trading wares all the way from China to the Gaelic coast.

Feet on ground, Indian businessmen made the country rich beyond its natural resources. Thanks to this, India was invaded a few hundred times. Somewhere along the line, we were invaded and colonized one last time… by the Brits. Big bummer.

You see, unable to govern this huge land mass with their pity numbers, the Brits invented one institution that changed the future of India—the Indian Civil Service.

The basic premise of this service was to rule many with a handful. The district magistrates and collectors were beacons of state power in the areas they operated in. A mix of Indians and Brits, this service made sure that the country was ruled with an iron hand and that you needed to ask the state before you farted.

The second big bummer came after Independence. Nobody thought of crapping this service; instead, they renamed it the Indian Administrative Service. Nothing changed. The state still governs the country on the back of this service. The IAS Cadre still behaves like God, while dispensing none of the Godly functions. The premise of the service still remains to rule, not to serve.

What this service brought with it, for us entrepreneurs, is what I call the ‘file yatra culture’. Want to set up a business? Make a file, fill up 300 forms, and wait as your file travels as much as Columbus did to make it to America… in twice the time. Want an export license? Your file may take more time to clear than your goods making a return journey. Want to file a patent? You could probably do it quicker in the Maldives. All the while, do also be ready to have a separate startup fund for bribes.

Back in the last decade, somebody said that this was all going to change. The license Raj was over. The new buzzword was single-window clearance.

Academics and analysts went gaga over this. The end was nigh, and the sun was going to rise. Bah! Yes, there is a single window. But the departments remain. Your file still travels across the same number of IAS desks and peon hands.

A friend of mine is looking to start an adventure sports company up north. It turns out that to start this business, he needs to go through three state and two central departments for two licenses. It may take anywhere between 15 to 45 days, depending on how much he can shell out on the side.

It turns out that he can start a similar business in Nepal, quicker. You’ve got be kidding me. Can somebody please scrap this whole civil service farce? I am more than sure, you also must have come up against these walls? Write in..

AUGUST SHARK is a once-failed, second time successful bootstrapper who resides in Mumbai. He can be contacted at august@stumpspeak.com.

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August Shark, dhanda