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What should the co-founders of a company expect from each other? The answer actually is so simple, it defies thinking. The expectation stems from the reason why you came together to co-found the company. Unfortunately, though, somewhere along the course of building the business, this reason gets lost. Then, unreasonable expectations take its place, causing a lot of confusion and heartache.

This is a lot like marriage. A boy falls in love with a girl because she dresses smartly, or because she is an independent thinker. It is the same trait he has a problem with after marriage. He then expects her to dress conservatively and keep her opinions to herself. She is heart-broken because she doesn’t understand why he’s setting new rules. He is heart-broken because he has forgotten the old rules!

If the co-founders of the company are young, the expectations are easy to set in terms of their individual skill sets. But let’s say that the co-founders are experienced professionals in their 40s. Each person would bring a brand equity to the table, besides their experience. One of them may be well-known in the domain, so it makes sense to leverage that person’s brand equity for the benefit of the new company. He may, for instance, be well-known as a teacher, a prolific public speaker or a writer—this has a rub-off effect on the organization. Strangely, while this is the very reason why he has been asked to be a co-founder, the other co-founders later expect him to stop these activities unless they directly bring money into the company.

This, to my mind, is where troubles begin. In the event that such an issue comes up, despite your best intentions, here’s how you can fix it:

1. Go back to the drawing board. Go over the roles that each co-founder was expected to play. Remind yourself why you came together. Reiterate to yourself and to the others that the reason for doing so really hasn’t changed.

2. There is no place for insecurity in the co-founding team. Just because one co-founder is better known, it doesn’t mean he is stealing the spotlight. The other co-founders shouldn’t forget that he is well-known not because of this company, but because of the work he has done in the past. Why not draw mileage from it for the new company?

3. If the person’s passion lies in what he’s doing—that is, teaching, speaking, writing, etc.—leave him be. Don’t weigh him down with running the company. If the others aren’t competent enough to run the company, hire a professional CEO. The CEO doesn’t have to be one of the co-founders.

4. Remember, you became an entrepreneur for the love of it, not for a living, since you started out later in life. So, try not to force precipitous decisions.

5. Importantly, thrash out issues face to face.

All of you came together as a co-founding team for a purpose. Let that purpose be your driver.

NANDINI VAIDYANATHAN teaches entrepreneurship in biz schools around the world and has co-founded two companies, Startups (forstartups.blogspot.com) and CARMa (www.carmagroup.in), both of which mentor entrepreneurs.

©Entrepreneur May 2011